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Alzheimer’s Care – Family Conflicts over Money
One of the ugliest, and often the most surprising, aspects of caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s disease or other form of dementia is the family conflicts related to money. We never anticipated being responsible for our loved one’s medical care and we certainly never expected to face legal battles with other family members in order to provide that care.
It is imperative that the person suffering with Alzheimer’s disease be protected both legally and financially. Unfortunately, this need for protection sometimes includes family members. We were naive and trusted some in our family and the results were catastrophic. Before Aunt Betty became ill, she had already seen an attorney and all the standard legal documentation existed. Her wishes were clearly stated and she felt confident about her decisions. As the symptoms of her disease became apparent, other members of the family gained access to those legal documents as well as to her safe deposit box. The original papers disappeared along with at least $140,000. Alzheimer’s care is not cheap! The money should have been used for Aunt Betty’s care. However, others felt they should enjoy it instead. Little or no concern was given to her desires or wellbeing.
So what steps should a family caregiver take to protect a loved one? Contact an attorney who specializes in elder law. Three documents are usually recommended. A Medical Power of Attorney, also known as a Medical Directive, will establish who is responsible for making all decisions related to the sick person’s medical care once he is no longer able to do so personally. A Durable Power of Attorney establishes who will be responsible for all decisions related to financial assets. The same person can perform both roles or two different people can be given these responsibilities. A Will is usually recommended, though it only provides directions for disbursement of the sick person’s assets after his death. It does nothing to help determine how someone will be cared for or who will be the primary caregiver or decision-maker.
If your family member who is afflicted with Alzheimer’s is still coherent enough to make decisions for himself, it is critical that these documents be created as soon as possible. Once he passes the point where a court of law would recognize him as competent, the process becomes much more complicated. Nevertheless, it is still important to see an attorney and have these papers drawn up so that no one is able to take advantage of the afflicted person’s vulnerability. After these documents are created, all original paperwork should be safely stored in a place where only the responsible party/parties have easy access to them. Some states will only recognize the originals as valid.
Financial steps should be taken along with the legal steps we’ve already discussed. It is necessary to maintain possession of all information about financial instruments your loved one may have established. This includes life and health insurance policies, bank statements and account information, data for investments and income (including Social Security Benefits), tax documents, and keys to safe deposit boxes. Access to these documents and accounts should also be limited.
Families behaving badly seem to be more common than families behaving well when money is involved. This is a sad reality that most of us do not want to face. Learn from our mistakes. Don’t be naïve. We are not the only Alzheimer’s family who has been shocked by the actions of relatives. A major part of providing Alzheimer’s care for your sick family member is to protect him both financially and legally. Be proactive, not reactive, and your loved one with Alzheimer’s will have a better chance for getting the best care possible. You, as an Alzheimer’s caregiver, will also find peace in knowing you have done all you can to protect his assets so they will be available to provide him with the care he needs for as long as possible.
About the Author
Lisa Smith and her family have spent the past six plus years caring for a relative with Alzheimer’s. Through their work with others in this same journey, she has become an expert at helping Alzheimer’s caregivers cope with the emotional, financial, and legal stress of caring for their loved one. She has created an informative report, “Dementia Care – Can You Afford It?” which alerts other Alzheimer’s families to aspects of this journey. For a FREE copy of this report, visit: http://www.AlzheimersOnlineTips.com
Lisa Sommers – “Typical” (from ABC Family’s “Teen Spirit”)
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